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A Place to Rest Your Head

by Times New Roman

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1.
Slant Rhymes 01:33
I’m somewhere between a punching bag and a sharp left hook, but I don’t pick these fights except for the ones I know I’ll never win. She said it’s evident that we were never friends. I just lose it when I think about the past. No matter how hard I try we can never go back. I’m afraid of becoming a silhouette of all the dreams and ambitions that I’ve ever had. I can’t change the future I can only change me but I’m starting to think that’s not good enough.
2.
Every day, it’s all the same. They wrap the chain around your neck again. They pull it tight and never let go and you’re perfectly content because you’re scared to be alone. They treat you like a slave but they call you their friend. You’re digging your own grave. You’re dead where you stand, and you know I speak the truth. Pull the knife out my back that belongs to you. Take your time. Think this through. This whole decision weighs on you. A slap to the face, a punch to the chest, just one more hit you’ll forget the rest. Why didn’t you listen to anything I told? I still can’t believe I treated you like one of my own. Dream of your future asleep in your bed, but now it’s all for nothing. You regret those things you did, and it makes you sick knowing you can’t take it back. If you don’t wake up tomorrow could you say that you truly lived? Too many mistakes were made. Too many apologies. I threw them all out with the excuses that you gave to me.
3.
I’ve been pushing forward, but I’m still just two steps behind. The luck in my veins has completely run dry. I guess this time I won’t dig myself into another rut, but it looks like you’ll keep your tensions high. This is not about you. So I won’t let you be the straw that breaks my back again. I guess all those years we spent together just meant nothing to you. I guess I’m trying hard to find all the answers to my life, and I’m sick of trying to hide the person who I really am inside. Your ego in time will take a toll on itself. You’re contradicting, condescending. Aim at me and I’ll bite the bullet. Pull the trigger to find a backlash of self-pity and pain. You can’t turn back when I told you what I came to be.
4.
This isolation’s killing me. Sometimes it makes it hard to breathe and hard to sleep. But I’ve seen better days. From the look on your face, I can’t erase it from my mind. I’ll take this broken soul, and piece it back together. I’ll mend these wounds and I’ll stand on my two feet. I can’t face the world outside my window. I can’t get myself to step out the front door. This guilt’s been breathing down my neck. It haunts my dreams so that I don’t forget about you. Now that I’m by myself things have changed and I can’t rely on anyone else. Take my head out of my hands, and I’ll look for something better. Time heals all wounds but these scars they’ll last forever. I will mend these wounds and heal again. I will stand on my two feet again. Time heals all wounds.
5.
Blinded 03:14
Explain to me how you’re still stuck in the exact same place. Your motivation lacks but yet you still expect an embrace. Accept the fact that I won’t always be there to pick up the mess that you’ve made. In time you’ll have to deal with the hurt. Find a steady peace of mind and a sense of self worth. I know that you’ll grow out of the same routine. You’ll learn from your mistakes and you’ll know what it means to find a sense of sympathy. Then maybe you’ll know what it feels like to be slowing down against your will. Time moves fast but you can’t stand still. There’s a hole in your heart that you’ll never fill. You’ll know how it feels. You’re blinded by the truth when it’s right in front of you. Someday you will grow old and your heart will grow cold. Then you’ll know what it feels like.
6.
Haverchuck 02:29
Wait. Wait. Listen to me. Don’t cut me off. I’ve got something to say. Did I not care enough? Did I not give enough? Now I’m disconnected and searching for a place to rest my head. These past few months I’ve been trying to make sense of anything that comes along, and form it in the context of this song so that it might lift the burden that I carry every day. It weighs so heavy on my shoulders. It’s the price I have to pay. Wait. Wait. It’s happening again. Crippled by regret and fear that I might never learn form this. I feel broken and bruised, lost and confused. Now I’ll be forever searching for a place to rest my head. Close your eyes and sleep a thousand years if that’s what it takes. Anything to wash you clean of all the things you’ve said and done. Awake with a heavy head but a lightened heart. I can’t stop sabotaging myself. I can’t do anything well.
7.
Debts Repaid 03:49
I don’t want to wake up knowing that each day will be exactly like the next. I’m taking steps to finally bring some change. It’s like a double blind experiment. We have no idea when our lives will end. I’ll keep living while you stand idly by. All the money in the world couldn’t ever buy the things in life I need to learn to tell me who I’m supposed to be. To all those life goals never made think of this song as debts repaid to those who wanted more of me than I could ever give. My bags are packed. I don’t know where I’m going. Don’t plan ahead. I always end up losing the things I hold dear I just need to feel alive again. It’s the same old song and dance when they make you believe that you actually had a chance to move on. And all the money in the world couldn’t ever buy the things in life I need to learn to tell me who I’m supposed to be.

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released May 21, 2013

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Times New Roman Christiansburg, Virginia

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